Ramadan Reflections: Between Taraweeh and the Grenfell Fire

Ramadan Reflections: Between Taraweeh and the Grenfell Fire

still can’t write about Ramadan, but I can share this. I had to pray at home this year, but for some reason the last salaat in Ramadhan it did hit me, that this may be my last Ramadhan salaah, so I tried so very hard to pray like it was my last one. So many thanks to you for this reminder and may Allaah accept our ibaadah aameen and take us among the believers whenever it is our time…aameen

The Muslimah Diaries

By Chaimaa El Azraak

I tried to string some sentences together these past few days as I wanted to capture my feelings and thoughts from the past month or so but I often stopped typing because nothing I was writing was making sense. I was trying to make sense of everything but it wasn’t coherent. I can’t really explain how this past month has made myself and so many others feel as it’s been quite overwhelming but here’s a attempt.

I’ll start with Taraweeh. Taraweeh is hosted by all mosques around the world and both males and females of all ages make their way to the mosque each night to join in these prayers. It hasn’t always been a simple task performing them at the mosque, so every opportunity to visit the mosque is a treasured gift to me.

Taraweeh left me with this indescribable feeling every night.

I’m…

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Gallery

A Note To Everyone…

Our sister Salimat took the words out of my mouth. Subhan Allah. and Jazak Allahu khair. May Allah help us in this path, ameen, and grant us the real success, ameen Allahumma Ameen.

Islam: My Story as a Muslim

Assalamu Alaykum Wa Rahmatullah Wa Barakatuhu. I hope this meets you in the best of conditions. It’s been a while since I last posted anything here. For weeks now I have wanted to write this article, but school work kept me so busy. However, yesterday I received shocking news of a friend’s death (Allahu Yarhamahu) and I was motivated to pick up my pen. (Please make du’a for him)

One faithful evening after Asr Prayer, I was reciting Suratul A’la to Suratul Nas and I was reminded of some important things we forget.

Allah says Quran 91 verses 9-10 “He has succeeded who purifies it, and he has failed who instills it [with corruption].” And also in Qur’an 87 verse 14 He says, “He has certainly succeeded who purifies himself.”

Let’s examine these verses from the two different Suwar. In Quran 91 verse 9, the “it”refers to THE HUMAN SOUL

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The Blue Sky Tag

The Blue Sky Tag

I had the pleasure (and challenge) of being nominated for the Blue Sky Tag by The Scottish Muslimah. I have only been at this blog for a very short period, but have followed her blog from the start. I find her to be very thoughtful and thought provoking.  Please do follow if you do not already.Anyway, as part of the rules I have been given 11 questions to answer:

 1.  Do you prefer hot or cold weather? Hot by far is more enjoyable. I get to take my time and I get to love the billowing folds of an extra wide abaya, and appreciate those gentle breezes that come just at the time when I sigh that it is so very very hot today!

2. What are you most afraid of?  I shudder to think of being 30,000 feet above the ground moving at the speed of 700-800 miles per hour in a metal container piloted by another human being with what(?) on his/her mind? I thank Allah for allowing me to endure this in order to make hajj, and ever since that maiden voyage whenever I think of it I automatically beg Allah for  peace of mind should He put me in that position again. ameen (Please make dua for your chicken sister!)

3. What is your favourite animal?  The cat.  Its purr is so very comforting, and the fur is pleasing to the touch.  It is graceful yet comical.  My best choice for company when no humans are available

4.What is your favourite smell? Mmmmmm lavender by far.

5.Are you an early bird or a night owl? Early bird. Our blessings are with work done after fajr. (see question 9.)

6.How many people have seen you cry?  The two younger girls when I was so very sad that I could not visit my mother. But in time Allah in His infinite mercy allowed her to come and live with us. Alhamdu lillahi.  Most other times in my life tears have been between me and my Lord. (except when we watch paulie- see number 8)

7.When was the last time you laughed until it hurt and what made you laugh?   I was riding with my husband and eating blue berry cookies with our coffee. He had given me his uneaten cookie and I finished it.  Well he did not mean that I was supposed to EAT it, just HOLD it so he could make a turn.  What a joke! Sorry….didn’t he know I was the cookie monster? Of course that was the last one and the store was a long way back. Needless to say now all uneaten snacks go on the lap, not to the spouse/ cookie monster.  I’m still chuckling now!

8.What book or film made you cry the most?  Kiddie movie Paulie.  It was about a parrot who could talk., but could not fly.  He was given to a little girl with a speech impediment. Even though the little girl, Marie was talking with the help of the bird, her dad didn’t like him, so they got rid of Paulie. The entire movie was about Paulie’s determination to get back to his friend. He overcame his fear of flying to get back to Marie.  By the time he did find her she had grown into an adult with a daughter of her own. I was just so touched by the determination of this little bird to reach his goal, and his success at the end that little tears had to come.

9.What is your favourite time of day?  Tahujjud until sunrise.  The house is peaceful, the neighbors are quiet. There is no need for verbal conversation.  Time to pray, reflect, ask forgiveness.  This is time to get my next ayat to memorize for the day, and then plan what has to be done that day. Is it just me, or do the birds really sing subhan Allah until the sun starts to rise? I swear  I hear them a little at first when it is still dark then they increase in volume by the time fajr is well in.  Then just as the sun is about to rise they quiet down  until it is all the way up. After sunrise just a few have a little more to say.

10.If you could have any career or job you wanted, what would it be? Dream job: CEO of Justice Incorporated. By the Grace of Allah and with the Permission of Allah al Fattah, al Adl:  We Collect taxes from the very rich and distribute it to the less fortunate.  We provide shelter for those in need worldwide (translators available), and healthy wholesome food for the hungry that is collected from the excesses of the lavish.  We rescue non combatant men, women and children from war torn areas and war torn households (after necessary mediation) and resettle them in peaceful, safe environments.  No room in the cities? No problem, we have funds from the very wealthy that is more than enough to BUILD cities in that space that we pass as we drive through the countryside.  We negotiate the return of native lands to their rightful owners, and still leave the new “immigrants” with enough land to occupy.  We provide salaries to teachers so that everyone in need of education, be it deeni, elementary, or collegiate can get the necessary education to pursue the life of his or her dreams. (applications are available in every language, and are accepted at all times)  Our Senior  Citizen department handles secure and respectful location services for the elderly so that they can enjoy their years in an environment of dignity that is rightfully theirs after lives of service to their families and communities. (all applications are given the utmost priority.) The Sijjin Department works to free those who are incarcerated unjustly; either political prisoners or those whose incarceration serves the purpose of an elite few.  Our legal team is ready to be of service. Operators are working 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Again translators are available for every human language. If there is some issue that we have not addressed, as I am sure there must be, feel free to contact us on our toll free line.  Although we will  do our level best to alleviate the harms of every nation it is understood that  perfect societies only do exist in jennah, but as Muminaat our job is to stand for justice in this dunya.  Ameen Allahumma Ameen.

11.If you were in a room with Donald Trump what would you say to him? So glad you are not God.

Sweetness of Faith

Sweetness of Faith

Today the girls and I didn’t go to Jumuah, but listened to a live stream.  What a pleasure…

The Imam spoke of the sweetness of faith from this hadith:

Narrated Anas bin Malik (RadhiAllahu ‘anhu), The Prophet (SAW) said:

“Whoever possesses the following three qualities will taste the sweetness of faith:

1. The one to whom Allah and His Apostle become dearer than anything else.
2. Who loves a person and he loves him only for Allah’s sake.
3. Who hates to revert to disbelief after Allah has brought him out from it, as he hates to be thrown in fire.”

[Sahih Bukhari – Book 2, Hadith 20]

To personalize it:

  1. The one to whom Allah and His Apostle become dearer than anything else;Do we do things to please people in disobedience to Allah? e.g, someone says let’s do lunch and it’s salat time, and I say to myself  “well, I’ll make salat when we get back, because I don’t want to make her wait” even if by then salat time would be over. Then we love them more than Allah.  May Allah protect us from that. Ameen.  Do we want to imitate the Prophet (SAW) in what he did or how he lived? If we love him then we will want to be like him. (reminder for myself- What sunnah do I implement with the intention to be like the Prophet(SAW)? Action plan- do a sunnah with the intention to imitate the Prophet(SAW)- not out of routine )
  2. The one who loves a person and he loves him only for Allah’s sake.  This one is because we do not look for anything in return for our association with the person. actually I used to be a bit offended when someone said this to me, and considered this to mean I had no value to them. But after this khutbah it is more clear that it means that the person speaking is saying out of kindness that we do not owe them anything in return for their love.  So if we have a rich friend and we love them for the sake of Allah,  they do not need to give us one cent as a friend.  If we have a successful friend we only want them to succeed more; not to give any worldly reward for our friendship.  Now I can finally say this with understanding and sincerity. Alhamdu lillahi.
  3. The one who hates to return to disbelief after Allah has saved him from it as he  hates to be thrown in fire.  This hits home for many reverts who have experienced life without Islam.  What an empty existence. May Allah save us from a return to  disbelief, ameen Allahumma ameen.

The Imam also likened faith to biting into a fruit.  The outside of the fruit is bitter, so if we just approach our deen from the surface (visible actions without sincerity) we cannot taste how sweet the real fruit is that is inside- think watermelon and oranges.  I also remember the words of a sister Amina Wadud who once during a keynote speech said to BE Muslim is far more important than to LOOK Muslim. That was too many years ago, but it stuck with me because it rings true.

Thank you for your time, and let’s continue to pray for success for our ummah, ameen.

Reflections on the Women’s March on Washington Part 2

Reflections on the Women’s March on Washington Part 2

Sapelo Square

My Body, My Choice!!!

By Ieasha Prime

My, Body, My Choice! Watching, hijab-clad young women march next to middle-aged white feminists while shouting this phrase sent shock waves through the Muslim community. Some scrambled for answers to questions such as, “Can we say that?” Are our women siding with “them”? “Have we lost our Muslim mind?” This scurrying for the answer caused me to contemplate the moment when I stood beside my son in the middle of this massive, spiritually charged and contagious crowd. I remember when this chant my body, my choicebegan, I paused and looked at him for about 5 seconds and he looked back in my eyes for an answer to “how do we respond to this one?”

Three seconds later, I yelled at the top of my lungs, “My Head, My Choice!” Women and men around me stopped and looked directly at me wearing my three-colored hijab. Realizing the…

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Co-Wife Club- Surah Yasin

Co-Wife Club- Surah Yasin

“Be mindful of what lies ahead”….. Maryam pondered these words and considered what she had sent forward by way of deeds.  She thought of those things she had left behind.  By “things” she meant feelings that were hurt, people who were disappointed, friends who were let down.  One in particular was Tahira.

Maryam should have seen it coming, but as their relationship just happened, she “rolled with the flow”.  It was becoming more and more apparent that her husband, Habib,  was growing restless. He began hinting about taking another wife.  At the same time she met a sister, Tahira, who had just moved to the area and complained that she did not have any friends.  Being the outgoing person that she was, it was easy for Maryam to invite Tahira over regularly.  For the next two months Tahira spent most weekends at their home, and became very comfortable with them as a family.  Maryam could not deny the feeling of friendship that was growing between herself and Tahira.

Okay, so they were getting married, fine.  How did they all end up in the same house?! Maryam saw it coming, but it was never discussed outright. Right before Tahira and Habib left town to get married, Maryam was moving to another house just because their lease was over, and Maryam wanted more space than they had in the little apartment.

When Tahira and Habib returned from their honeymoon to Maryam’s house, Tahira was not just a visitor. Tahira would STAY there in her own room!  It was not too much of an adjustment, since they had been constant companions prior to the marriage.  But now that Tahira was a wife, she took more control over the running of the house.  She claimed the kitchen, which came with no opposition from Maryam, who was more comfortable with the “wardrobe management”.  (She made their clothes) Also Maryam did the food shopping.

Every morning after fajr salah the two sisters sat down to read surah Yasin. Each one took half and read in Arabic.  It seemed no matter how difficult the living situation became, praying and reading made the discomfort easier to bear.  Maryam did not dislike her sister Tahira, but she felt over time that each of their marriages did not have the full potential because of the lack of privacy.  Tahira, on the other hand depended on Maryam for support in how to deal with their husband.  Her insistence that everything in the home be “in its place” made the husband feel like he lived in a museum.  Although he liked the idea that Tahira cooked delicious meals he still sometimes wanted Maryam’s basic spaghetti.

The two sisters were seen in public at events like weddings and sister gatherings and classes.  Their beautiful garments were made with the same style, but different colors. They shopped together and went to classes and became known as the “twins”. They even had sisters come to the house for girl parties. It was a special time for the both of them.  Other women looked at them either with admiration or disdain. How they could cope with living in the same house seemed amazing to those looking on.  And since Maryam feared Allah, her family would not be the subject of conversation with other people. Any problem she had would have to be worked out among the three of them.

Maryam was such a helper to Tahira that when Tahira studied for her drivers license, Tahira asked Maryam for help because she was a more patient teacher than their husband.  For all that she did, though Tahira could not understand why sometimes Maryam had a mean face on the mornings that she and Habib decided to sleep in.  And if she had the nerve to show up (come downstairs) in one of his shirts that would just twist the knife!  Tahira reacted to Maryam’s face with stern questioning, which made Maryam guilty and even more sad at the entire situation.

Habib decided to let Tahira go, but Maryam begged him not to let it go that far.  She really did feel like she needed to take care of Tahira, who was 6 years her junior.  What a dilemma. Two sisters who need each other but not having a true sense of what would best allow each to blossom.  Maryam thought that by moving into her own house Tahira would have a chance at a relationship with their husband that was sincere, and not governed by what was acceptable to the whole. She  for one was ready to take up her relationship where it left off before they shared one house.

She did see her husband every day, but it was a lukewarm sight.  She dared not to run and hug him, because then Tahira would feel it necessary to do the same, and then she may even hug for longer.  Rather than have to face that, Maryam would choose to do nothing, but remember the days of happy home comings. If the two sisters were out together and the husband called Maryam, she felt it necessary to give the phone to Tahira. She would then say the required salaam and yes, we’re fine.  How awkward…

Maryam was wrong about many things.  She did not understand that Tahira needed to live as a group to feel validated and necessary.  She liked being part of a family. She liked telling Maryam and Habib how to dress and eat and just everything to do. It did not occur to her that her insistence that Maryam be happy with everything that came with sharing a husband made an unbearable burden on her sister. Tahira did not understand that when she complained about her husband that she was also complaining about Maryam’s husband, and therefore Maryam had to put a correction on it.  It was not taking sides as Tahira would accuse her of doing.  Maryam’s role as a Muslimah was obedience to Allah, which meant obedience to her husband and guarding his back.

Yes, Maryam did appreciate the kindnesses that were given like the dua that Tahira insisted that they read together after fajr to help Maryam cope, and the fact that they read Sura Yasin every day together. She appreciated the cup of tea that was offered as she sat at the sewing machine to make their next outfit for the upcoming event. She appreciated the companion in travel to visit non-Muslim family.  She did like having her around.  Why couldn’t they just get some space?  Apparently with Tahira and their friendship it was all or nothing at all.  Maryam did not get that memo.

Maryam did eventually move to her own house and even though the two sisters made a try at contacting each other, it became very clear after a month that things had changed completely. Maryam got the privacy she so wanted, but suddenly it felt like excommunication. There was no turning back.

Now here she sits years later with Sura Yasin open to this ayat. “Beware of what is before you and what is past so that you may be treated with kindness.” She can only beg Allah to forgive her past petty jealousies and times of impatience.   Maryam also made a dua that Allah forgive their short comings, accept their best intentions, and grant them reward for each letter they read together despite their differences, ameen.

 

 

10 proven tips to get your duas answered.

10 proven tips to get your duas answered.

Alhamdu lillaahi for these reminders. They are well worth sharing, and I ask that my dear readers make dua for me.

 

A Muslimah's writings

Originally written for Ayeina.

How to get your duas answered?

Duas, prayers, supplications, duaa, why my dua is not accepted?, how to get my supplications granted?, how to make dua, how to benefit from duas, muslim dua, quran duas, duas by muslim. Make use of the tips and techniques to get your prayers answered.
There are several articles online, that list all conditions/requirements to get our prayers answered. In this article, I will write what has perhaps not already been written about and points I include from my personal experience. In sha Allah it will benefit us all.

1. Make Dua for others

Yes, we all know that. But how can we optimize this? Make dua for others what you want for yourself. We can understand this better with an example. When I was pregnant, I used to pray regularly for normal and easy delivery. But even before I was pregnant I used to pray for my pregnant cousins, relatives and friends that they have easy and normal deliveries. I did this for several reasons.

1. I am extremely scared…

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My Girl Snow White

My Girl Snow White

 

This story has been haunting me since the first one written about Cinderella, and I struggle to write to the audience what makes sense, and to give a lesson.  My personal “captive” audience is my three girls 5, 7 and 9.

I would tell the Snow White story to them like this:

There was once this girl Raquel who thought she was beautiful.  Every day she looked in her mirror and asked the mirror who was the most beautiful girl in the land.  The mirror was her friend, so she told her that she was the most beautiful. Actually, the mirror was the only friend that Raquel had. When she was a little girl the other girls would not play with her because she was  very selfish. Her mother gave her the mirror to keep her company.  Her mother warned her to listen to the advice the mirror would give, and not to let her outward beauty keep her from doing good. She also said that everyone is beautiful in their own way. But Raquel did not care about everyone else.

Raquel  married a  handsome king who had a daughter, so Raquel became a queen and a step mother. And she was a mean step mother. The princess’ name was Diamond. (My kids love the name Diamond) She was very little when her mother died so all she knew about her was what her dad would tell her.  He told Diamond that she looked just like her mother, and that her mother had been very kind to everyone, and that everyone loved her mother. Diamond wanted to be just like her mother, and so she made it her business to be as nice as she could to everyone.  Diamond especially loved her dad and wanted to make him happy.  She knew by her being good she would make him very happy.

The Queen Raquel was not concerned with what made the king happy.  She could not wait until Diamond was old enough to get married and move out so she could live alone with the king.  (Knowing that my girls are very close to their dad, I would have to include the part that said Diamond would always live very close to the king, so the mean step-mother the queen would just have to get over it. And since the queen did have some fear of Allah, she would not try to kill Diamond, so the forest and seven dwarfs scene is not necessary.)

The mirror was tired of hearing Queen Raquel talking every day about how she looked and moaning about wanting all of the king’s attention. One day she said “Raquel, I hear you talk about looks and attention.  If you insist on action,  there is someone very lovable that the princess  Diamond may love enough to marry.” The selfish queen got very quiet and paid attention to someone else for the first time. The mirror continued, “They may then move far away. You would be taking a chance, as we have no control over matters of the heart.” The Queen did not care about the chances. She just wanted to do something to get the king’s attention to herself.

Queen Raquel became very excited about this idea and begged the mirror to bring this man to her. The mirror said “He is someone who is very very nice, but he does come with a very dear price.”  “Bring him here now!” said the Queen. Again the mirror warned “You are asking something that could be nice, but the feeling may end up cold as ice.”  “No more riddles!” shouted the queen. “I want him here now!” “You are so on my nerves!” said the mirror, but she did as the queen demanded.

Suddenly there appeared before Queen Raquel a handsome prince.  She asked his name and understood why he was called Yusuf. She could hardly take her eyes off him as she sent for Diamond. This mean woman was finally very happy. She could see clearly that Diamond was truly in love at first sight of the handsome and well mannered Prince Yusuf. (She was not happy that this beautiful and very kind princess would be happy, but she was glad to have a way to get rid of  her.)

Prince Yusuf was also in love with this princess who was everything he wanted.  She was beautiful outside and very kindhearted inside just like his mother. He was polite to the king, who gladly gave his blessing to their marriage. The wedding was set for the following month.  All through the preparations for Princess Diamond’s wedding  the queen also planned her own vacation, as she was looking forward to finally having all of the king’s attention.

Every day she asked her friend the mirror “How do I look now, am I not the finest in the land?” Her friend agreed, but warned “Fear Allah, my friend, you better think twice. What you are planning may not feel so nice.”

Finally the day of the wedding came, and the Queen was hardly able to hold onto her composure.  The many guests started to arrive, but the queen asked her mirror one last time “How do I look now, am I not the finest in the land?” to which the mirror replied “Fear Allah, my friend. There is much more than meets the eye.”  The Queen was not in a mood for riddles, so she just rushed out of her room without saying a word. She was late getting to her place to greet the many beautiful guests, and to meet her husband who was especially handsome that day. “What a handsome king for me” she thought to herself as she took her place at his side.

The Prince entered the main hall and was holding a most beautiful woman on his arm.  “This lady must be his twin sister” thought the Queen.  She had not met her, although  she did visit the palace during the wedding planning period, but the Queen was too busy with her own plans to notice the family of the groom.  She did not see how the king, her husband had taken notice of the kindness of the prince’s mother, and how she reminded him of his own former wife, Diamond’s mother. The Queen did not notice the gifts that had been exchanged between the two of them,  and how the king had proposed to her!

After all, he was allowed to be married to this new queen, and he married her that very same day.  Now the Queen Raquel not only had to share her king with Diamond, but also with the new queen as well.  At last she understood the advice of her mirror when she told her to be mindful of what she asks for, and that there really is much more that meets the eye.

Diamond on the other hand, was the happiest princess ever, and lived right there in the palace with her husband, her father, and her two very nice step-mothers. (Yes, the Queen Raquel finally got over it. That’s my nice ending for tender hearts.  I want them to believe in happy endings. )

 

Thank you for reading

re-post from Theresa Corbin (Islamwich)

re-post from Theresa Corbin (Islamwich)

I’m so new to Imojis, but just seeing another avenue we have under taken as Muslims is exciting…

by Theresa Corbin Yesterday something awesome happened. A Launch Good campaign went live. Why does that matter? Well, it matters because this crowdfunding effort is bringing us Islamic emojis! Islamoji: “The Fun Muslim Pop Culture App With A Cause. Custom-designed emojis to express your unique self!” The Islamoji app is the brainchild of Sakeena Rashid, Founder of […]

via Islam + Emoji = Islamoji — islamwich

Co-wife Club- the Phone call

Co-wife Club- the Phone call

Maryam was busy as usual with school work when her phone rang.  The call was from a former co-wife. This was a bit unusual so she took the call.

“As Salaamu alaikum, sis! This is a pleasant surprise.  How are you?”  The answer came as a shock.

“I’m calling to tell you that your ex, brother Dawud just passed away last night,” came the voice on the other end.  Amina was the elder of the two wives when they were both married to brother Dawud, and Maryam always liked and respected her.  Now that the both of them were in new marriages they were friendly when the met in public and still felt a bond of sorts.

Amina had been in touch with their former in-laws, and had known of the illness.  Maryam, on the other hand, had completely dropped out of the “family” circuit. And that was best, because she had stayed married to Dawud many years longer than Amina, and had even gone through another two shared marriages after that. Yes, she was sad in a way, but no tears came.  Rather a general overall sadness at the finality of death.

Even after the marriage had seemed to just fade into nonexistence, there was a familiarity in Maryam’s mind that could have been understood to be love.  Amina didn’t stay on the phone much after delivering the news, but she promised to keep Maryam informed.  Her mind raced….. should she try to go to the janaza?  What would she say to the non-Muslim family  who had become so used to her presence at the family reunions, and holiday gatherings?  What about the Muslims who did not know or who would have found it hard to believe that they had actually divorced? Not those two who seemed so right for each other.  Not those two who showed people how to live with two women in the very same house for ten years?

Maryam  went to call just a few people who knew her and the former husband.  Her intention was to have them make dua, as they lived too far away to come to the janaza. She did not feel like talking, though, as the reality set in. There would be no accidental run-ins that would reveal the feelings of one to the other. Since this new marriage Maryam dreaded a chance meeting that might betray her true emotional state.  And now there would be no accidental anything. Was that a relief?

She still was not sure about the janaza, but was leaning away from going.  That other sister may be there and she may make a scene.  The last wife, the one who had shared living space for ten years was still very angry that Maryam had decided to move into her own house(?).  As uncomfortable as it was living together, it was harder to maintain the semblance of friendship after Maryam moved into her own house.  Actually she thought the space would allow each to grow with their respective marriage. They seemed to work well living together until Dawud lost his job and the sisters had to find work to pay bills and buy food.  Now there was “time by default” as Maryam called it in her mind.  She was relieved when Zainab drove away for her day shift.  The house was then all hers and Dawud’s. Likewise, Zainab felt a sense of calm as Maryam got ready for her second shift at the Census.  They both wondered when and how the brother would find work, but neither one wanted to upset the apple cart and be the “bad guy”, so things just went on and on until Maryam finally could not take the pressure.  How long was she going to see herself and the other sister work and wait on the promise of a major project that is “sure to pay off”?

Memories of the funny times and the sad times  went through Maryam’s mind for the rest of the day.  She made strong dua for his forgiveness and otherwise kept quiet about it. Since she was no longer the wife she did not have the right to “condolence” calls.

As it turned out, the janaza was held in a town more than two hours drive away, which was not feasible for Maryam to get to. Later that night Amina called to fill her in on the events of the day.  There had been many people there, and even “that one”.  Amina found out that she had been visiting Brother Dawud up until his passing.  So she got to see him last.  Maryam wanted to get an attitude but she kept it to herself. She knew they had broken up after she got her own house, but she did not know they maintained contact.? There would be many things that she would not know, and Maryam had to make up her mind that it’s okay. Having been the first wife in this case had given her the advantage  in many family decisions, and she had her husbands trust and confidence. That could have disadvantages, though, as when he talked about whether or not to marry someone else, Maryam had to put on her big girl pants and advise as an objective outsider.

Maryam spent the day of the janaza  away from the glances and whispers of  people who mean well, but can’t help but wonder at the outcome of such a long marriage. She was glad to be out of the view of people who take account of each glance and word spoken and gesture between herself and her former co-wife turned enemy through no fault of her own, and despite her attempts at apologies. She talked to Allah and begged forgiveness for her lack of patience with the financial and emotional shortcomings.

She looked at her new situation and realized the goodness that lay before her, and was content to let the past stay there.